Survivor One World Episode 5 Spoiler Review

Following the DUMBEST MOVE IN THE HISTORY OF SURVIVOR, the girls couldn't believe their luck, that the guys would forfeit immunity and even up the numbers on each tribe again. The girls all pledged to stick together no matter what. Of course, there'd be a little more drama involved in these discussions if it weren't for the fact the commercials for tonight's episode told us that they were doing a tribe switch tonight, with Colton playing both new tribes against each other.

And, sure enough, after the commercial break, Jeff tells the tribes that at the reward challenge, they're doing a random tribe switch. Well, this is going to make it way more difficult to recap the shows now that the tribes are pretty much interchangeable. So, it's going to be the Colton Tribe and the Non-Colton Tribe. The losing tribe from the reward challenge gets booted from the One World beach, sent to the new beach and has to establish a new camp. And the winning tribe gets PB&J and coffee.

So, basically, Survivor One World Men vs. Women lasted 4 episodes and 10 minutes. This is like the WWE sticking to their match stipulations...

The new Non-Colton Salani tribe won reward, so the Colton Manono Tribe gets to move to the new beach. Colton declared that his tribe was the Village People and they suck. He's such a happy person. Colton went out to find a new alliance that included Monica and some other people whose names I still don't know. (This actually turns out to be an important plot point tonight, in fact.)

Meanwhile, the Salani tribe went spear fishing for chickens and crabs. Oh sure, you laugh - they got a rooster and 4 crabs. They had more food for dinner than we did.

Kim found the immunity idol that the girls can play. She was happy. She let Chelsea in on the secret.

The Manono tribe caught a chicken in a trap, and it got away six seconds later. "These people suck at Survivor," declared Colton.

The immunity challenge was basically tackle water basketball. Salani won immunity, sending Colton's gang to Tribal Council.

Colton decided to blindside Monica and vote her out while telling everyone that they were voting out Tarzan. Colton told Tarzan they were voting out Monica, and Tarzan replied, "Which one is Monica?" Good, so it's not just me.

Although it turns out Tarzan is kind of a genius with a giant vocabulary, he is just very terrible at remembering names. "Nominal aphasia," in fact. Which will probably trend on Twitter now.

And after all that, Monica was voted out, leaving some very confused faces of some tribe members whose names I don't remember. I blame my nominal aphasia.

Next week: Someone gets taken out of the game on a stretcher.


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