The Newsroom

It's the 172 hour season finale of Survivor, which starts today and ends a week from Thursday, I think. The show starts off with a recap of the entire season that took approximately 7 hours on its own.  So, finally, we get back to the actual show and Erik is feeling dizzy, so the call in medical in the middle of the night. The doctor gives Erik an IV due to his dehydration and moments later, pulled Erik from the game due to his condition. So, 11 minutes into the finale, we're down to the final four, which means this should have much more filler than usual. So the final four is the unlikely crew of Cochran, Dawn, Sherri and Eddie. Cochran and Eddie decide they want to get rid of Dawn next. The final four engaged in a reward challenge that involved building a house of cards on a balance beam while holding the beam steady with one hand. The reward was a "huge advantage" at the final immunity challenge. Everyone had their stack of tile cards fall multiple times. Finally,

Nothing to see here. Just checking how the migration from one Google Account to the other is going.

It's the penultimate edition of this season's Survivor, with the 19-hour finale and reunion show taking up most of my Sunday. The show opens with Eddie basically resigned to the fact that he's the next to go. Dawn, Erik and Brenda wondered out loud whether they should get rid of Cochran. Erik had an existential crisis - something about being in a beautiful prison. Then he tried to climb a coconut tree. He got pretty high, but not enough to get the coconuts. Yes, this is as exciting as the show as been so far. Tree Mail was a BRAND NAME SMART PHONE loaded with video letters. Tears flowed freely so freely four of them drowned. Cochran's mother hoped he wasn't "charred or burned or anything" from not using enough sunscreen. That entire family needs its own reality show.  So the loved ones come out. More tears. Geez, you'd think these people hadn't seen each other in a mont- oh, wait. Even Jeff cried for the first time at the loved ones r

Teams take a ferry to Belfast. There's nearly a 4-hour difference from team 1 to team 4, and somehow I think that will change really soon. And, indeed, the ferry isn't until morning, so everyone sleeps on the floor of the ferry terminal. The teams drove themselves from the Belfast terminal to the city. Two of the teams headed in one direction, two went in another. Turns out Max and Katie and the hockey brothers did the correct turn, while the roller derby girls and country singers didn't. The Roadblock was bog snorkelling. Not surprisingly, it was a sport invented while drinking (hey, don't blame me, PHIL SAID IT!). Teams had to beat a 4 minute clock. Bates and Anthony did it in 2:18. Katie did it in 3:08. Mona screamed the entire way, including when they were taking off the wetsuit, but did it in 2:53. Jennifer of the country singers fell off a dock and got stuck in mud and struggled to make the final lap. She didn't make it in time and had to do it over again.

The previews during the week promised two tribal councils, so I plan to make this a shorter review than  usual, as I'm gonna cut to the chase on the show. And because I'm tired and really don't feel like typing a lot. The first tribal council involved balancing on a floating pyramid in the water. The winner gets immunity and information in the form of a secret scroll. Erik and Eddie stepped off for doughnuts. Cochran left the challenge for hotdogs and pop. Andrea and Brenda were the last 2, and they went three freaking hours. Brenda eventually fell in and Andrea won immunity. The information was the clue to the hidden immunity idol, and she shared it with her entire alliance. Erik found it and immediately gave it to Andrea. At Tribal Council, Reynold was voted out. To no one's surprise. And wasting no time, we go right into the next immunity challenge, which involved puzzle pieces, ladders, swimming and other complications. Erik won. Jeff asked him if he was