The Amazing Race 22 Episode 1 Spoiler Review

It's a new season of The Amazing Race! Which means a whole bunch of new teams I'm gonna have to give nicknames to because of my inability to remember real names very well. I keep telling my wife - whassherface - that I'm great with faces, but terrible with names. Fortunately, CBS casts teams to be goofy gimmicks, by and large, so nicknames are easy to come by.

(So the CBS preview before the show says 3 teams will quit before the end of the first leg? Geez, spoilers, dude.)

So we have Team Alabama Mullets; (complete with the #mullet hashtag ... kill me now); Team Hockey Brothers; Team Roller Derby Moms; Team Newlyweds; Team Father/Son; Team Dating Surfers; Team Twin Docs (who are OB-GYNs); Team Best Friends; Team YouTube; Team Firefighters; and Team Country Singers.

The winners of the first leg get an Express Pass, and a bonus Express Pass to be given to another team by the end of the fourth leg. The teams get their first clue and they're off to Bora Bora. Five teams can get on the first flight, which leaves an hour earlier.

The Mullets, the Best Friends, Docs, Dating Surfers, and Father/Son were on the first flight. The Docs got the other teams to agree that they were an alliance, and that the team who came in second would automatically get the second Express Pass.

In Bora Bora, a team member had to (tandem) skydive from 10,000 feet, leaping from a helicopter. I'm ready to vomit just thinking about it, and suddenly I understand why, perhaps, 3 teams quit. Bora Bora does look beautiful, though, even if my wife looked up the flights from Edmonton and it would be $21,000 just for flights for the two of us. Oh well, this is in HD. Good enough.

From there, teams had to dig through sandcastles to look for their next clue, and they had to rebuild all the sandcastles they destroy looking for clues. And it was a billion degrees outside. It turned out rebuilding sandcastles in the heat was the hardest task ever. The Dating Surfers finally got a clue. They went down the beach to assemble an outrigger canoe and paddle to the pit stop.

The Hockey Brothers were second from the sandcastle task from hell.

The Dating Surfers were Team 1, and get the first Express Pass.

The Hockey Brothers were Team 2.

Team Father/Son were Team 3, but were the second team from the Secret Alliance of the first five teams, and so they are expecting the second Express Pass.

Team Best Friends were Team 4. Team Roller Derby Moms were fifth. Team YouTube were sixth. Alabama was seventh. The Docs were eighth.

There were three teams left on the beach who had been there for more than three hours. They all decided to quit the task (but not the race - so that preview was misleading) and take the 4 hour penalty. So they got their clues for the outrigger canoes.

The newlyweds were 9th, country singers were 10th. And the firefighters were the last team and were eliminated.

Next week: The Surfers kinda threaten to not give the second Express Pass. And Bora Bora continues to kick the racers' collective butts.


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