Survivor Philippines Grand Finale Spoiler Review!

As any regular reader of my Survivor reviews will know, the finale is my least favorite show of the entire season, as it's a 2-hour prelude to the third hour reunion show where the winner is actually revealed. And there's A LOT of filler in the two-hour show, that normally includes the 20-minute montage to the Survivors no longer in the game. Bo-ring!

The final four headed to the reward challenge, which was obstacles, bags, and puzzles. The winner gets an advantage in the final immunity challenge. Malcolm won.

Denise approached Malcolm about the final 3 and Malcolm hesitated, so Denise figured she was on the bottom of the alliance and went to Lisa to try to convince her to vote out Malcolm if they get the chance. Lisa was down for that. And so was Skupin. So they figured that they were part of the final 3 regardless of whether Malcolm wins immunity or not.

And here comes the 20-minute former Survivor montage. I recapped the entire season and I barely remember some of these people. Ack! I hate these! There was some guy in this montage named Artis. Never heard of him. Must have been some mistake.

Anyway, back to the actual show ...

The final challenge challenge was what looked like a ridiculously hard balancing of a metal ball on a piece of wood, with pieces of wood being added at regular intervals. Malcolm's advantage was a second chance in the challenge. So if he drops his ball at any point, he can put it back on and keep going. So he's going to have to completely suck at this to lose.

Malcolm was the first one to drop his ball, but he got his one reset to get back in the game. And then it fell again, and Malcolm was out of the challenge. So his big advantage ended up being no advantage to him at all.

Denise was the second one out. Skupin ended up winning the final immunity over Lisa. Good for him.

So, basically, Lisa and Skupin had to decide whether to vote off Denise or Malcolm. It was Malcolm. He wasn't happy. But if they didn't get rid of him now, he was a shoe-in to win it all.

We had the usual "bitter voted-off Survivors blast the guys who were smarter than them" segment. Some guy named Artis was first. Have no idea why he was there. I'm waiting for SOMEONE in the jury to finally blow Lisa's cover and tell everyone how she was a child star. Let's see if it happens. Abi, the most unlikable person, was still the most unlikable person. Penner, surprisingly, spit poison, and finally spilled Lisa's secret. Major heel turn for Jonathan Penner. Maybe he'll hook up with Abi. Wow. Did not see that coming.

And we're off the live reunion special for the only thing anyone cares about, and that's the winner...

After 39 days, several months of post-production, a dozen episodes of the show, and a 17-hour finale, the winner of Survivor Philippines is ... Denise! Good for her.