Survivor Philippines Episode 12 Spoiler Review

It's the penultimate episode of this season, which means we'll have ramped up drama tonight as everyone scrambles to make the finale.

Coming back from Tribal Council, Abi thanked the tribe for keeping her around. I'm not sure if she knows it's because there's no way she's getting any votes if she's in the final 3. But it's amusing to watch either way.

Random thought: Is Lisa on this show to re-launch her showbiz career?

The tribe figures that Abi does not have the hidden immunity idol that she claims to have or else she would have used it at Tribal Council last night.

Abi approached Lisa to say she's at the bottom of her alliance and she should be careful. Lisa politely listened while not believing a word of it. Cuz, you know, it's Abi.

The reward challenge was glorified ring toss. The prize was a helicopter ride, boat excursion and pizza. And they could take two other people. Skupin won the challenge, and took Malcolm and Lisa. Abi and Denise went back to camp. Abi was sad. Again.

When they got back to camp, Abi grabbed a machete and threatened to kill those on the reward challenge when they came back. She was kidding. I think. But, again, it's Abi. And she whined and whined and whined about not going on the reward challenge. And Denise listened politely and basically wished for death.

Skupin binged on cookies and "pop" at the reward challenge. Turns out he doesn't eat sugar "in real life" (as Malcolm said) and OD'd on it. The three of them went snorkelling with a whale shark. OK, that was very cool.

After that, Malcolm declared they needed to get rid of Denise because she hadn't betrayed anyone and hasn't received any votes and would be a huge threat to win. So Malcolm, Lisa and Skupin declared themselves the final three. And then Lisa told the camera that if it doesn't work out for her, she's willing to ditch both of them.

The next day, Denise was complaining about sharp burning pains in her neck. Plus what looked like fang marks in her neck. Are there vampires in the Philippines? Lisa and Skupin prayed over Denise, while Abi basically wished horrible things on Denise. And made crazy devil eyes.

The immunity challenge involved planks, a rope bridge, and a puzzle maze. Malcolm, who was dead last going into the puzzle portion, staged an amazing comeback and won immunity. And Jeff reminds him that tonight is the final night to play hidden immunity idols.

Back at camp, Abi tried to convince Skupin to vote for Denise, saying - amazingly enough - that taking her to the final three makes the most sense because NO ONE WILL VOTE FOR HER! Ladies and gentlemen, we have self-awareness!

Denise approached Malcolm about possibly giving up his hidden immunity idol. But he figured that everyone was voting for Abi, so there was no need to play it.

At Tribal Council, Abi also showed that she's finally become self-aware, declaring out loud that she's the best person to take to the final three because everyone hates her.

Abi also declared that no one can beat Denise and backed up that bus over her big time. She also declared that Skupin and Lisa are not winning the game, and called Skupin an idiot. And a moron. Twice. WWE needs to sign this girl immediately, as she'd be a monster heel.

And by immediately, I mean, next Monday morning, as Abi was voted off.

Sunday: The 17-hour finale. OK, it'll just feel like that.


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