Sunday, December 9, 2012

The Amazing Race Season 21 2 Hour Season Finale!

It's the season finale of The Amazing Race! Two hours of television that almost always ends up in a 15-second split-screen clip of two teams racing to the finish line from opposite directions, probably 5 hours apart, but skillfully edited to make it look like it was, indeed, a footrace to the finish. Like last season, when ... wait a second. I have absolutely no memory of how last season ended. Fortunately, I reviewed it, so let me check... Someone named Rachel and someone named Dave. They could be sitting next to me right now and I wouldn't recognize them. Well, that doesn't bode well for whoever wins tonight.

And with all that prelude out of the way, let's get to tonight's show!

Teams fly to Spain and then take a train to France, where there next clue is on the PRODUCT PLACEMENT VEHICLE. IT WAS LITERALLY A COMMERCIAL! Meanwhile, on the train, the tree non-Goat Farmer teams plotted to try to take out the Goat Farmers. And 8 crates had to go into the car. The other teams were gobsmacked that one of the Goat Farmers could speak French. In France. MY GOODNESS! How dastardly!

Teams then had to head to Leonardo DaVinci's resting place. The Twins encountered their speed bump, which was lacing up an 18th century corset on a lady. There was trash talking between the Goat Farmers and the Twins. With the Twins doing their speed bump, the three-team alliance suddenly shifted to the French-speaking Goat Farmers, and the Twins were left in the dust.

The Detour was a choice between plowing a field with a horse, or making a meal of a pack of hunting hounds. Trey and Lexi farmed. The Twins and the Goat Farmers made dog food. Chippendales farmed.

Trey and Lexi finished their plowing and headed to some caves. The Chippendales were close behind. And the other two teams were still cutting and weighing meat. The Goat Farmers finished the task before the Twins, prompting hope that we'd finally be rid of the Twins and have at least 1 hour without them.

At the caves, on member of each team had to search the maze of tunnels for different varieties of mushrooms. Lexi nailed it and they were off to a castle, which was the pit stop. The Chippendales had a little more trouble but finished it before any other teams arrived. The Chippendales ended up being the first at the pit stop as Trey and Lexi had navigation issues. James & Jaymes each won the PRODUCT PLACEMENT CAR.

Trey and Lexi were second.

The Twins finished the mushroom task before the Goat Farmers. The Twins went in the wrong direction. The Goat Farmers encountered a literal detour - closed road and a detour.

The Goat Farmers were Team 3! THE TWINS ARE ELIMINATED! YAY!

So the final legs kicks off sending the teams to New York City and Coney Island. The clue was part of a Houdini banner. No one could figure it out. Finally, Trey and Lexi spotted the "Race to the Brooklyn Navy Yard" on the Houdini poster. The Goat Farmers then figured it out, too. Finally, about 15 minutes later, the Chippendales figured it out.

The Roadblock was escaping out of a straight-jacket hanging from a bungee cord 15 storeys up. Trey escaped the straightjacket fairly quickly.

From there, it was off to a pizza joint where teams had to deliver a bunch of pizzas on foot to several locations. Trey and Lexi finished first. Their next clue was the logo for the United Nations. The Goat Farmers managed to screw up their deliveries, despite bragging about how they lived in New York for years.

The Roadblock and final challenge was to match up the "Hello" and "Goodbye" phrases they heard on each of the check-in mats with the flags of the countries. It was ridiculously hard. They put up an elapsed time clock that was a two-and-a-half hours. Finally, the Goat Farmers finished the task. The clue was to the finish line. Lexi cried. The Chippendales were next to the finish line.

And in the biggest comeback in Amazing Race history, the Goat Farmers, Josh and Brent, won the entire freaking thing.

Chippendales were second. Trey and Lexi were third.

And you'll forget who won in about three days. Plus, Survivor wraps up this week.
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