Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Survivor One World Episode 1 Spoiler Review



It's the return of Survivor! The gimmick this year is that FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER the two tribes are living on the same beach. CBS decided to go with that for the hook rather than the "No returning Survivors from previous seasons!" line because that didn't focus group test too well.

(As an aside ... this show looks almost TOO good in HD. Not gritty enough.)

Tarzan and Troyzan immediately had a nickname dispute and ensuring that I'm going to hate typing both names until one is eliminated.

The game started with Jeff telling the tribes to take whatever they could from the truck, and the men stole a bunch of stuff from the girl's pile when they weren't looking. "Dirty cheaters" said the girls, already forgetting that they're playing a game for a million dollars.

There ARE hidden immunity idols but there is NOT a Redemption Island, so no second chances (Hooray!).

I just noticed the male tribe is called MANONO. Cue bad puns. The guys managed to take all the stuff but had to walk "100 miles" to their camp. The women immediately picked their alliances during their walk to camp.

The tribes arrived separately from opposite directions to their joint camp. They tribes quickly noticed that there were chickens left by the producers - I mean, running around. A chase ensued, complete with cheesy fiddle music overdub, and Chelsea caught two. Chickens. Not producers. Or men. The men argued they should share the chickens because everyone was chasing them and thought there was an agreement to share any chickens caught.

The men's tribe quickly identified Colton as the weak link on their team. Colton tried to ingratiate himself on the girls' team, but not all the girls wanted to trust him.

The guys had their fire lit first, and the girls tried to bargain starting a fire for a chicken. It quickly devolved into bargaining over getting naked and poll dancing. I'm not making this up. No deals were struck, however, probably to the great delight of CBS's censors. Of course, then they quickly cut to a night-time scene of girls walking around in their bras and panties. Not making that up either.

While the guys were sleeping, two of the girls snuck over and stole a big ember from the guys' fire. The girls did get a fire going, but it went out. So Christina cut a deal involving weaving palm fronds in exchange for fire.

One of the women (what, you expect me to know EVERY NAME!?) found a hidden immunity idol but it was for MAN! OH! NO! and so she told Colton it might go to him. (OK, I looked it up. It was Sabrina.)

During the first immunity challenge, Kourtney badly injured her wrist and medical took her for X-rays. Jeff said that because the women couldn't finish the challenge, the men had the choice of taking the win and sending the women to Tribal Council or waiting on the results of the x-rays and re-doing the challenge later. The guys took the win and the women were shocked - SHOCKED! - that the men had decided to, you know, TAKE THE OBVIOUS WIN! Good grief, some people forget that this is a competition.

Sabrina gave Colton the hidden immunity idol. Colton made a Taylor Swift reference.

At Tribal Council, about half the girls ended up talking over each other for what seemed like hours while Jeff sat there looking bemused. It ended in a "SHUT UP!" "REALLY!? "REALLY!" Grade 4, everyone. Jeff said that the girls camp was "nutsville". Yup, he did. Kourtney ended up with multiple fractures in her wrist so she is gone from the game, which meant no one else would be eliminated. Jeff sent them back to camp basically warning them that there were 36 days left and they'd better get it together or they were doomed.

Next week: The women's tribe melts down, and Colton annoys everyone.
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