Liveblogging Monday Night Raw

For something completely different ...

I'm going to try to live-blog Monday Night Raw tonight. All the fun begins in 15 minutes, when the Score starts the show...

7:05 - The Score is showing highlights of the WWE press conference today with Floyd Mayweather, and one of the first things they show is a dude wearing a UFC hat. Well done. Big Show looks very dapper in a suit.

7:18 - William Regal wants a photo-op with Cena, Orton and Triple-Haich (sic) for "prosperity."

7:23 - Cena stands nose-to-nose with Hunter ... which means, of course, that Cena is in the ring and Hunter is half-way up the ramp.

7:25 - Opening segment ends with Orton laying out Cena and Hunter. I suspect next week will see Cena lay out Orton and HHH, and then the week after, HHH will triumph over Orton and Cena. Oh, wait, he did that last week.

7:28 - The Score's sports cutaway just compared the Leafs vs. Senators game to Hulk Hogan vs. Iron Mike Sharpe.

7:32 - Santino and Carlito vs. WWE tag champions Bob Holly and Cody Rhodes. Please, let Santino and Carlito win the tag belts here.

7:35 - Phooey. Rhodes and Holly won. The match wasn't that great.

7:45 - Highlights of the Floyd Mayweather and Big Show build for Wrestlemania, and today's WM 24 press conference in LA. I would absolutely LOVE this feud if I could figure out why Big Show is the heel and Floyd Mayweather - the outsider, interloping, midget boxer - is supposed to be the babyface. That would be FLOYD "MONEY" MAYWEATHER, the BIGGEST HEEL IN BOXING RIGHT NOW! He's the BABYFACE in this feud.

7:46 - Tonight's main event - Cena and HHH vs. Kennedy and Orton. Reminds me of Sesame Street - one of these things is not like the other. One of these things just doesn't belong ...

Hey, Chris Jericho wants in the Money in the Bank match at Mania. He gets to face Jeff Hardy. Well, that should be a good match at least.

7:58 - Chris Jericho vs. Jeff Hardy ... Commercial break. Good match so far.

8:07 - Jericho wins! Great finishing sequence.

OK, while that was a fine match, I wish the WWE would stop having Intercontinental champion Hardy and U.S. champion MVP continually losing all these non-title matches while never having them defend their titles. The secondary belts in the company mean virtually nothing as it without adding to this problem. I mean, Jericho just beat the IC champion clean, and I'll bet $100 that next week on Raw, he does NOT get an IC title shot.

8:12 - Wrestlemania is in Orlando this year. That would be, Orlando, Florida. One of the theme songs for Mania this year is by the Red Hot Chili Peppers ... a song called SNOW.

Alrighty then.

8:16 - Yay. It's the weekly Hornswaggle soap opera segment. Wake me when it's over.

8:28 - UMANGA! vs. D.H. Smith. I suspect the match will be over by the time I finish typing and uploading this.

8:30 - Young Mr. Smith lasted about 2 minutes longer than I thought he would. I believe the D.H. stands for "designated hittee."

8:32 - It's Crumpet and Tea Hour with William Regal, and Paul and Katie Burchill. Can someone please put the closed-captioning on so I can understand them?

8:39 - Currently on CNN-Sports Illustrated: Mayweather goes from WBC to WEE.

WEE?

Oh yeah, Shawn Michaels is wrestling Lance Cade. This is interesting only because Cade was a student at Michaels' wrestling school a few years ago.

8:46 - Ric Flair challenges Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania. I like Lance Storm's idea for this match: everyone thinks Michaels is going to win and retire Flair, so have Flair win instead, and then announce he's retiring.

8:55 - Yay! The WWE is putting the Maivia-Johnson family in the Hall of Fame! And the Rock will be inducting them! Awesome.

8:59 - With just the main event to go, I'm shutting down for the night. Time to get the kids to bed ...
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